I’ve had a lifetime of dealing with the narcissistic spectrum from my own family of origin, to romantic relationships/marriages, co-workers, collegues, neighbors, “friends” and current family members, but I didn’t rrealize what I was dealing with until I was forty-six years old when my own mother walked out of my house, discarding me like trash.
I had no idea there was a name for the lifetime of confusion I felt and the feeling of something not being right, I just absorbed it, disassociated with it or put things on the back burner to show up for my role as mom.
If you read many books about narcissistic abuse, they’ll educate you with labels, behaviors to look out for, and how it damages us. But, most books make you think you shouldn’t be high-functioning, or successful and if you are, you somehow are not being authentic. Or they’ll have you think you have to be a complete and utter train wreck in order to be vulnerable and open about it all.
So, I think I may have something of value to add to the conversation about all this narcissistic abuse talk we’re hearing about these days and I hope to flip the script on some of the very things I see related to all this.
Although I am not a life coach, therapist or counselor, I am a nurse. I see some of this spectrum the same way the experts do, and some of it much differently.
This blog is my healing place where I’ll share my confusion about it all, what I do right, what I did wrong, my good days and bad… and how I think we heal from trauma like this. I’ve been successful in every area of my life up to this point in spite of this trauma and you can be too.
I know we can get through to the other side of this pain if we dig deep, which is what I did in my memoir Steel Town Girl. But, that’s only my beginning. As survivors of immense abuse, we need to continue to undue the damage so generously bestowed upon us. But, we can’t live our lives to the fullest when we’re solely focused on the narcissist and what they did to us.
Live your life. It’s the only one we get.
All my best,